Popular Items

Joes Tea
$2.80
Ole' Sub or Burrito Mezcal marinated 12 spiced steak, mezcal grilled chicken or mezcal shaved seitan, chipotle house sauce, fried onions, lettuce, tomato, cilantro, and Mexican string cheese.
$13.00
Ducktown Melt Sub or Burrito Shaved ribeye, smoked bacon, garlic aioli, fresh mutz on garlic bread.
$13.00
Brotherly Love Sub or Burrito House Philly cheesesteak. Shaved ribeye or shaved seitan, sharp white wiz, fried onion, calabrian chili, and fried long hots.
$13.00
Boloney-Rex Sub Jurassic era size 8 hour smoked beef rib bone-in, caveman sauce & sharp white wiz. Instructions included. Yes they are needed!
$25.00

Appetizers

'Chini 3 homemade mutz stuffed rice-balls with a side of marinara or vodka sauce.
$10.00
Cacio Pepe Mac Balls 3 homemade cheezy peppery smoked mozzarella pasta balls w/ side of vodka sauce
$10.00
3 Piece Chicken Tenders and Fries 3 chicken tenders with fries and honey mustard.
$10.00
Cheezy Garlic Bread Garlic bread spread with mozzarella, garlic, and herbs. Tony's Tip - add pepperoni!
$8.00

Mozzarella Sticks

Mozzarella Stick Sampler One of each (5 total, no bacon/hotness) with choice of sauce.
$12.50
Original Pretzel Mozzarella Sticks Pennsylvania dutch pretzel crusted w/ super creamy homemade mozzarella, choice of marinara or vodka sauce.
$12.00
Truffle Mozzarella Sticks Homemade truffle mozzarella w/ truffle panko breadcrumb crust, choice of marinara or vodka sauce.
$12.50
Pesto Mozzarella Sticks Homemade pesto mozzarella w/ pesto & pecorino breadcrumb crust, choice of marinara or vodka sauce.
$12.50
Chipotle Mozzarella Sticks Homemade chipotle mozzarella w/ oaxacan spiced breadcrumb crust and side of chipotle ranch
$12.50
Smoked Mozzarella Sticks Homemade smoked mozzarella w/ italian breadcrumb crust, choice of marinara or vodka sauce.
$12.50
Unicorn Mozzarella Sticks Rainbow mozzarella sticks. feeling magical? bite into the rainbow w/ glitter breadcrumb crust. A unicorn died for them so you know they are delicious. With unicorn blood dipping sauce.
$20.00

Fries

House Fries Hand cut with side of garlic aioli. Tony's Tip - Add Cheese!
$5.00
Barbarian Fries Smoked bacon, the coolest ranch dressing, mutz.
$12.00
Crustacean Fries Jumbo lump crab, bayou butter, fresh mutz, fresh garlic and parsley.
$14.00
Hotness Fries Nashville hot sauce, smoked cheddar, pickles, and dill aioli.
$11.50
Texican Fries brisket chili, sharp white wiz, scallions, crispy onions
$13.00
Frenchy Fries French onion soup, gruyere, parsley
$10.50
S#!tf@c3d Fries Honey stout BBQ, fresh mutz, cheddar, Fritos, and smoked bacon.
$11.50
Aloo Fries Indian tikka masala, fried jalapeno, paneer, green chutney, and cilantro.
$10.50
Bastardo Fundito Fries Chorizo, chipotle sauce, refried black bean, roasted corn, string cheese, pickled jalapeno crema and cilantro.
$11.50
Winger Fries Buffalo sauce, blue cheese, mutz, and celery.
$10.50
Disco Queen Fries Garlic herbs gravy, fresh mutz, crispy onions and scallion.
$10.50
Magic! Fries Black truffle sauce, fresh mutz, parsley.
$11.50
'Shiner Fries Pink vodka, smoked pepperoni, calabrian chili, basil, smoked mutz.
$11.50

Wings

Served with Choice of Bleu Cheese or Ranch and Celery.

Wings
$7.50+
Wing Mash Up 50 wings. 5 different flavors.
$65.00

Stuntin' Pizza

Taco Taco Taco Pizza Slice World's most famous pizza...yeah, that's the one u've been talkin' about!!! shhhh, it's still on the secret menu! With over 100 million views on youtube, this one is a must-have. ONLY ON TUESDAYS!!!
$12.00

Pasta Bakes

Bo-lo-ney-s Parm Meat ragu, ricotta, fresh mutz, parsley, calabrian chili.
$22.00
Millie Parm House parm pasta. salted ricotta, basil, shaved pecorino
$20.00
Buff-o-Parm Buffalo fried chicken or cauliflower, blue cheese, crispy celery, fresh mozzarella. Tony's Tip - add burrata!
$20.00
Thundercat Parm Creamed spinach, fresh mutz, sesame seed, chicken or eggplant cutlet, crispy onion.
$20.00
Crabby Parm Local crab, drawn butter, fresh mozzarella, bayou spices, parsley
$24.00
Ole Parm Mezcal marinated steak, grilled chicken or shaved seitan. chipotle, fried onions, cilantro & Mexican string cheese.
$20.00
OG Vegan Parm Sage pesto, vegan eggplant meatball, marinara, vegan mutz, basil.
$22.00
St. Luigi Parm Provel cacio pepe alfredo, chicken or eggplant cutlet, sesame seed, fresh mutz.
$20.00

Salacious Salads

Pueblito Salad Romaine, roasted corn, black bean, grape tomato, string cheese, cilantro, tortilla chips, smashed avocado, pumpkin seeds, spicy mole sauce, pickled jalapeno crema dressing.
$13.00
Boken Girl Salad Arugula spring mix, Sicilian soppressata, smoked mutz, grape tomato, chicken cutlet, and lemon vinaigrette dressing.
$13.00
Buff-O-Greens Salad Romaine, blue cheese, celery, buffalo chicken or cauliflower, fresh mutz, lemon vinaigrette dressing.
$13.00
Kale Nero! Salad Marinated kale, crouton, pickled red onion, hard boiled egg, shaved pecorino, spicy caesar
$13.00
Tuk-Tuk Salad Romaine, green papaya slaw, cilantro, roasted peanut, grape tomato Thai satay sauce, coolest ranch dressing.
$13.00
Greektown Salad Romaine, grilled halloumi, Kalamata olive, grape tomato, cucumber, parsley and creamy Greek dressing.
$13.00
Chibo Salad Arugula spring mix, grilled chicken, crispy onion, grape tomato, shaved pecorino, goat cheese crumble, lemon vinaigrette dressing.
$13.00
Uptown Cobb Salad Romaine, grilled chicken, smashed avocado, smoked bacon, chopped hard boiled egg, blue cheese, grape tomato, lemon vinaigrette dressing.
$13.00
Garbanza Salad - Vegan Lemon marinated kale, beet hummus, harissa falafel, tomato, red quinoa, parsley, spicy tahini, za?atar.
$13.00
Roast Salad - Vegan Lemon marinated kale, red quinoa, curried cauliflower, golden raisin, mushroom, harissa tahini.
$13.00

Soup

Matzo Ballin' Soup Grandma's matzo ball soup.
$8.00+
Cauliflowa Chowda Soup Cauliflower, leek, fennel, potato w/ sage pesto
$8.00+
Cream of Spinach Soup Creamed spinach w/ cheddar, crispy onion.
$8.00+
Texican Chili Soup Smoked brisket chili w/ cheddar & crispy onion.
$8.00+

Fresh Mozzarella (Mutz)

Sea Salt (Original) Mozzarella Hand Pulled original mozzarella. One ball.
$14.00

Build Your Own Pies

Build Your Own Slice
$3.50
Build Your Own Slice
$12.00+

Build Your Own Sandwich

Build Your Own Sub You pick it, we make it!
$5.00

Red & Vodka Slices or Pies

Classic Cheese Slice Marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese.
$3.50
Classic Cheese Marinara sauce and mozzarella cheese.
$12.00+
House Slice Spicy Calabrian Chili Marinara, Fresh Mozzarella & Smoked Mozzarella.
$5.00
House Pie Spicy Calabrian Chili Marinara, Fresh Mozzarella & Smoked Mozzarella.
$19.00+
Burrrrr-ata Slice Pink vodka, shaved pecorino, basil, calabrian chili drizzle, and burrata.
$7.00
Burrrrr-ata Pie Pink vodka, shaved pecorino, basil, calabrian chili drizzle, and burrata.
$22.00+
Grandma Patti Slice House parm pie. Fresh Mutz, pecorino, marinara, ricotta, basil. Vegetarian.
$5.00
Grandma Patti Pie House parm pie. Fresh Mutz, pecorino, marinara, ricotta, basil. Vegetarian.
$19.00+
Moonshiner Slice Fresh basil, shaved pecorino, Tony's Extra Virgin Sicilian Olive Oil.
$5.00
Moonshiner Pie Fresh basil, shaved pecorino, Tony's Extra Virgin Sicilian Olive Oil.
$19.00+
Pinky Slice Extra smoked pepperoni, vodka sauce and smoked mutz.
$5.00
Pinky Pie Extra smoked pepperoni, vodka sauce and smoked mutz.
$19.00+
Jersey Fist-Pump Slice Vodka sauce, fennel sausage, green pepper, onion, smoked mutz.
$5.00
Jersey Fist-Pump Pie Vodka sauce, fennel sausage, green pepper, onion, smoked mutz.
$19.00+
Casino Carnivore Slice Meat lovers unite! 10 meats ravaged by mozzarella...noah?s ark of pizza.
$6.00
Casino Carnivore Meat lovers unite! 10 meats ravaged by mozzarella...noah?s ark of pizza.
$22.00+
Hawaiian Flush Slice Marinara, grilled pineapple, capicola, smoked mozzarella, and smoked bacon.
$5.00
Hawaiian Flush Pie Marinara, grilled pineapple, capicola, smoked mozzarella, and smoked bacon.
$19.00+
Bo-lo-ney-s? Slice Meat ragu, fresh mutz, calabrian chili, crispy onions.
$6.00
Bo-lo-ney-s? Pie Meat ragu, fresh mutz, calabrian chili, crispy onions.
$22.00+
Stack-O-Pizza (5 Cheese Pies) 5 XL 18" Cheese Pies.
$80.00

White & Non Red Slices or Pies

S#!tf@c3d Chicken Slice Beer battered chicken breast with homemade honey stout bbq sauce, mutz & cheddar...the best...umm...sober pizza? Tony's tip - make it blacked-out! smoked bacon and fritos!
$5.00
S#!tf@c3d Chicken Pie Beer battered chicken breast with homemade honey stout bbq sauce, mutz & cheddar...the best...umm...sober pizza? Tony's tip - make it blacked-out! smoked bacon and fritos!
$19.00+
Winger Slice Buttermilk buffalo fried chicken or cauliflower, fresh mutz, blue cheese, ranch.
$5.00
Winger Pie Buttermilk buffalo fried chicken or cauliflower, fresh mutz, blue cheese, ranch.
$19.00+
Pancho Franco Slice Grilled chicken, avocado sauce, cilantro, pickled jalapeno crema, Mexican string cheese, and potato chips.
$6.00
Pancho Franco Pie Grilled chicken, avocado sauce, cilantro, pickled jalapeno crema, Mexican string cheese, and potato chips.
$22.00+
French Onion Soup Slice Gruyere, onion soup, caramelized onions.
$5.00
French Onion Soup Pie Gruyere, onion soup, caramelized onions.
$19.00+
General Khan Slice General Tso's fried chicken, sesame seed, fresh mutz, scallion, hot honey.
$5.00
General Khan Pie General Tso's fried chicken, sesame seed, fresh mutz, scallion, hot honey.
$19.00+
Mex-Corn Husker Slice Roasted corn, string cheese, pickled jalapeno crema, cilantro and chiles. Vegetarian.
$5.00
Mex-Corn Husker Pie Roasted corn, string cheese, pickled jalapeno crema, cilantro and chiles. Vegetarian.
$5.00+
Ay Dios Mac! Slice Our cheesy mac and cheese pie, chipotle sauce, and cilantro. Vegetarian.
$5.00
Ay Dios Mac! Pie Our cheesy mac and cheese pie, chipotle sauce, and cilantro. Vegetarian.
$19.00+
Jewish Cowboy Slice Jewish passover BBQ brisket, Havarti, beet horseradish & parsley.
$6.00
Jewish Cowboy Pie Jewish passover BBQ brisket, Havarti, beet horseradish & parsley.
$22.00+
Magic Mushroom Slice Black truffle sauce, breadcrumb crust, crimini mushroom, whipped ricotta, fresh mutz, parsley. Vegetarian.
$6.00
Magic Mushroom Black truffle sauce, breadcrumb crust, crimini mushroom, whipped ricotta, fresh mutz, parsley. Vegetarian.
$22.00+
Da Count Slice Garlic bread spread, fresh & smoked mutz, whipped ricotta, garlic & herbs, shaved pecorino. VEGETARIAN.
$5.00
Da Count Pie Garlic bread spread, fresh & smoked mutz, whipped ricotta, garlic & herbs, shaved pecorino. VEGETARIAN.
$19.00+
Bangkok Boardwalk Slice Pad Thai sauce, fried chicken or cauliflower, fresh jalapenos, cilantro, crushed honey roasted peanuts and toasted sesame seeds. Vegetarian.
$5.00
Bangkok Boardwalk Pie Pad Thai sauce, fried chicken or cauliflower, fresh jalapenos, cilantro, crushed honey roasted peanuts and toasted sesame seeds. Vegetarian.
$19.00+
Ducktown Slice Garlic bread spread, ribeye steak, smoked bacon, fresh mutz, garlic & herbs.
$6.00
Ducktown Pie Garlic bread spread, ribeye steak, smoked bacon, fresh mutz, garlic & herbs.
$22.00+
Mac-N-It Slice Ribeye steak, da sauce, sharp white wiz, sour dill pickles, grilled onion, lettuce, tomato and sesame seed crust. Tony's tip - substitute shaved grilled seitan instead of steak!
$5.00
Mac-N-It Pie Ribeye steak, da sauce, sharp white wiz, sour dill pickles, grilled onion, lettuce, tomato and sesame seed crust. Tony's tip - substitute shaved grilled seitan instead of steak!
$19.00+
Tikka Slice Sesame seed crust, tikka masala coconut curry, paneer, jalapeno, green chutney, cilantro. Vegetarian.
$5.00
Tikka Pie Sesame seed crust, tikka masala coconut curry, paneer, jalapeno, green chutney, cilantro. Vegetarian.
$19.00+
Crabby Cronick Slice Jumbo lump crab, fresh mutz, bayou butter, and parsley.
$7.00
Crabby Cronick Pie Jumbo lump crab, fresh mutz, bayou butter, and parsley.
$22.00+
Thundercat Slice Pecorino creamed spinach, sesame seeds, chicken cutlet or eggplant cutlet, crispy onions.
$5.00
Thundercat Pie Pecorino creamed spinach, sesame seeds, chicken cutlet or eggplant cutlet, crispy onions.
$19.00+
St. Luigi Slice Provel cacio pepe alfredo, fresh mutz, seeded crust, pecorino.
$5.00
St. Luigi Pie Provel cacio pepe alfredo, fresh mutz, seeded crust, pecorino.
$19.00+
Pennybags Slice Sage pesto, fresh mutz, pecorino, balsamic honey
$5.00
Pennybags Pie Sage pesto, fresh mutz, pecorino, balsamic honey
$19.00+

Vegan Slices or Pies

O.G. Vegan Slice Breadcrumb crust, marinara, vegan mutz, garlic & herbs, basil, vegan eggplant meatballs, sage pesto.
$5.00
O.G. Vegan Breadcrumb crust, marinara, vegan mutz, garlic & herbs, basil, vegan eggplant meatballs, sage pesto.
$19.00+
Kaliente Slice Kale, refried black beans, avocado, cilantro, and salsa verde.
$5.00
Kaliente Pie Kale, refried black beans, avocado, cilantro, and salsa verde.
$19.00+
Yogi Slice Sesame crust, coconut curry tikka masala, crimini mushroom, broccoli rabe, jalapenos, green chutney, and cilantro.
$5.00
Yogi Pie Sesame crust, coconut curry tikka masala, crimini mushroom, broccoli rabe, jalapenos, green chutney, and cilantro.
$19.00+
King Slice Lemon marinated kale, beet hummus, red quinoa, parsley, spicy tahini, chimichurri, za?atar crust.
$5.00
King Pie Lemon marinated kale, beet hummus, red quinoa, parsley, spicy tahini, chimichurri, za?atar crust.
$19.00+

Steak & Brisket Subs or Burritos

Ole' Sub or Burrito Mezcal marinated 12 spiced steak, mezcal grilled chicken or mezcal shaved seitan, chipotle house sauce, fried onions, lettuce, tomato, cilantro, and Mexican string cheese.
$13.00
Pot Roaster Sub or Burrito 8 hr brisket pot roast, garlic bread, havarti.
$15.00
Ducktown Melt Sub or Burrito Shaved ribeye, smoked bacon, garlic aioli, fresh mutz on garlic bread.
$13.00
Brotherly Love Sub or Burrito House Philly cheesesteak. Shaved ribeye or shaved seitan, sharp white wiz, fried onion, calabrian chili, and fried long hots.
$13.00
William Da Kid Sub or Burrito No more billy, i'm grown mom!...black truffle mashed potato, 8 hr brisket cowboy chili, fresh mutz, potato chip.
$15.00
Ooh-wee oui drippin? Sub or Burrito French onion soup cheesesteak, ribeye, french onion soup caramelized onion, gruyere.
$14.00
Gravy Train Sub or Burrito Ride it...black truffle mashed potato, ribeye, herb gravy, fresh mutz, crispy onion.
$14.00
Fon-Duuuuude Sub or Burrito Just yodlin' brah...ribeye or seitan, roasted garlic spread, 4 cheese swiss wine fondue.
$15.00
Bo-lo-ney-s? Sub or Burrito Meat ragu, ricotta, fresh mutz, calabrian chili, crispy onions.
$15.00
Supreme tang ????? Sub or Burrito Pad thai cheese steak...steak, grilled chicken or shaved seitan. thai satay rice noodles, green papaya slaw, crushed cilantro, peanut, smoked sriracha wiz, pickled bird chili
$14.00
Bad Leroy Sub or Burrito Shaved ribeye or shaved seitan, whipped goat cheese, jalapeno, beet horseradish, and Havarti.
$13.00
Boloney-Rex Sub Jurassic era size 8 hour smoked beef rib bone-in, caveman sauce & sharp white wiz. Instructions included. Yes they are needed!
$25.00
Lil' Mac Sub or Burrito Lottsa shaved ribeye steak or shaved seitan, da special sauce, sharp white cheese wiz, sour dill pickles, grilled onions, lettuce, tomato on a sesame seed roll.
$14.00
Houdini Sub or Burrito Shaved ribeye or shaved seitan, black truffle sauce, crimini mushroom, burrata, crispy onions, and parsley.
$15.00

Chicken Subs or Burritos

Make anything a sub or burritos.

Boken-boy? Sub or Burrito Chicken cutlet, garlic aioli, soppressata, baby arugula, fresh & smoked mutz, house dressing.
$13.00
S#!tf@c3d 3000 Sub or Burrito Beer battered chicken, honey stout bbq, smoked bacon, mutz, cheddar, fritos.
$13.00
St. Luigi Sub or Burrito St. louis meets rome...chicken or eggplant cutlet, provel cacio pepe alfredo, fresh mutz, seeded roll.
$13.00
5,000 Club Sub or Burrito Sinatra two steppin'... black truffle mashed potato, chicken cutlet, smoked bacon, havarti, lettuce, tomato, house dressing, potato chips.
$13.00
Crabby Killer Sub or Burrito Lump crab, grilled chicken, bayou butter, fresh mutz, parsley.
$14.00
Jersey Jezebel Sub or Burrito Nashville chicken, purple slaw, sour dill pickle, smoked cheddar, dill aioli.
$13.00
General Genghis Sub or Burrito Tso's fried chicken or cauliflower, lemon marinated kale, smoked mutz, scallion, sesame, hot honey, crispy wonton.
$13.00
Shoobie Sub or Burrito Fried chicken, buttermilk ranch, smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato, fresh mutz, potato chips.
$13.00
Diving Buffalo Sub or Burrito Buffalo chicken or cauliflower, blue cheese, fresh mozzarella, buttermilk ranch, celery.
$13.00
Burro Bastardo Sub or Burrito Yea he is...refried bean, fried chicken or cauliflower, chipotle, cilantro, avocado, smoked queso, jalape?o crema, potato chip.
$13.00
Filthy Rich Pennybags Sub or Burrito Dont pass go...chicken or eggplant cutlet, salted ricotta, sage pesto, fresh mutz, honey balsamic.
$13.00

Parm Subs

Geppetto Sub House parm sub, salted ricotta, basil, and pecorino.
$13.00
UTB Sub or Burrito like 80's tv dinner watching thundercats but better. creamed spinach parm...pecorino creamed spinach, sesame seeds, chicken cutlet or eggplant cutlet, crispy onions.
$13.00

Vegan Monsters Subs or Burritos

Squash the Beef Parm Sub or Burrito Yes...all vegan!...Eggplant meatball, sage pesto, marinara, vegan mutz, basil on a seeded roll.
$13.00
Vegan 'Ole Sub or Burrito Oaxacan marinated seitan, chipotle sauce, vegan string cheese, lettuce, tomato, and cilantro.
$13.00
Punjabo Parm Sub or Burrito Roasted garlic spread, cauliflower, tikka masala coconut curry, jalape?os, green chutney, vegan paneer, cilantro.
$13.00
Thy Zohan Beet hummus, harrisa falafel, cucumbers, tomato, spicy harissa tahini, parsley, za?atar.
$13.00

Pork Sub or Burrito

Pigfaced Slayer Ppurple slaw, maple bourbon bbq pulled pork, smoked mutz, crispy onion.
$14.00
Pusher Sub or Burrito Roasted garlic spread, spicy fennel sausage, smoked mutz, baby arugula, house dressing.
$14.00

Cold Subs or Burritos

The Commission Sub or Burrito The definitive Italian sub. 'Nduja, soppressata, spicy capicola, mortadella, fresh smoked mutz, crispy onions, calabrian chili spread, and Sicilian dressing.
$14.00
Yalla Yalla or Burrito Beet hummus, fresh mozzarella, sage pesto, tomato, baby arugula, honey balsamic.
$13.00
Miss 'Merica Sub or Burrito Roasted turkey, fresh smoked mutz, arugula, garlic aioli, tomato, sicilian lemon vinaigrette house dressing.
$13.00
Volstead Sub or Burrito Jalapeno aioli, sharp cheddar, roasted turkey, avocado smash, potato chip.
$14.00
Ollie Sub or Burrito Babushka beet horseradish, smoked mutz, sopressata, baby arugula, balsamic honey.
$14.00

Beverages

Joes Tea
$2.80
Boylan's Bottles
$2.80
Water
$2.50